did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
