I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
