if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
