Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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