I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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