i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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