"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
