I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
