when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
