I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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