its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
