ugly people sure do ruin things
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
