She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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