I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
oh god was she eating orange peels again
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize