The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
