I wish I could teleport
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
