I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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