he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
