And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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