guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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