I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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