He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize