does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
