yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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