If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
