the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
