WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
