): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so let's talk penis.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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