I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
