Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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