wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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