Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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