At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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