dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
