Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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