did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
