I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
