WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
