I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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