The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
