Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
