you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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