you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize