i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
