Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
