thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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