We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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