I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
