i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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