I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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