you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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