thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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