i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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