We got so high we made milksteak
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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