go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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