I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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