Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
