I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
