If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
