it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize