I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
