Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
